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Let me tell you a modern love story that started on the pages of Casual Encounters. Navigating through postings of chicks with dicks and 420 friendly dates, John sits patiently at his computer. He’s got no where to go, nor the social graces to join the masses at a teeming discotheque. He never learned the intricate and subtle waltz of a courtship with a woman. Mocked and harassed, John was the last child in school to stop picking his nose. These days, his contemporaries fight back with black trench coats and sawed-off shotguns. But even if that thought had ran through his head, he was always too weak to do anything about the big kids.

So when John gets a response from his sex inquiry, he thwarts the thoughts of sending a penis shot attached to his first email and just sends a nice smiling webcam photo. From her email, he thinks that she could be the one.

John brushes his teeth for the first time in a long while. Picks his nose and picks out an outfit. Goes to the corner bodega and buys a dozen roses. His heart flutters as he enters Starbucks. A little overweight with a nice face, they make eye contact.

“John?”

“Uh, hi. These are for you.”

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