It’s not easy picking out women’s underwear when you’ve never worn it. Well there was that one time. Lamont surveys the store, trying not to look like a pervert. Teddies, thongs, fullbacks, line the racks as he fights back an erection. Lamont likes the big butts, just like the song goes. But he has to concentrate. He is here to buy his lovely fiancé an anniversary gift. Lingerie is the perfect gift because it’s really a gift for him. And after two years, the sex has slowed down. In the beginning Lamont was doing some kinky stuff, but recently it’s been pretty vanilla.

Two days after making his purchase, Lamont walks around with permanent shit-eating grin. Literally.

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