Not that Sam would ever. I mean, he can get it whenever he wants. Like from that girl from the other night. “Why don’t I just call her? She seemed into me. I bet if I take her out once, I could get it and never have to call her again.” Yea, you know, because Sam’s just not the kind of guy that would pay for it, because then, he would have to think of himself as the kind of guy that would have to pay for it. And that is just not how Sam wants to think of himself. Plus, when he finds a wife and his wife asks if he has ever paid for it, he will say confidently, “I would never do something like that.” But this one here looks pretty good. She’s a natural blond. It says she’s just doing it to pay her way through school. I mean, if Sam’s going to do it, he would want to do it with a college girl. Because you know, they probably have more in common and plus, she’s probably cleaner. Sam has been in a dry spell lately. But no, Sam can’t do this. Listen, he’s just going to call that girl from the other night, see if she wants to go out and seal the deal. Dammit, she’s going to give him some lame excuse like she has to wake up early the next day. That tease! That prude! Sam listen to yourself, you don’t want to be one of those guys. But who has to know, really? It’s not like Sam has a roommate. She would be in and out in 30 minutes. No one would ever know. Wait a minute. Come on now. What if Sam caught something? Well, Sam would wear protection so he doesn’t have to worry about that. But there are those other things. Next thing you know, Sam would have to go see his doctor. It would be so embarrassing. Just let Sam see if the phone number works. It’s probably disconnected anyway. She’s probably not even home. Wait, it’s ringing. “Hello?”

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